How To Deal With Negative Online Reviews

Editor’s note: This article was originally published in 2013 and has been completely rewritten and updated for 2026. The core framework — investigate, respond with the Olive Branch, cultivate proactively — has held up remarkably well, but the tactics, platforms, and threats have evolved significantly.

I originally published this article and podcast back in 2013, and the core strategy has held up remarkably well – the Olive Branch Approach still works, and proactive review cultivation is still the single best defence against the occasional bad apple. But a lot has changed in 13 years, and I’ve been getting enough questions from members about negative reviews lately that I wanted to bring this one fully up to date for 2026.

So here’s the refreshed version. Same three-part framework – investigate, respond, prevent – but with everything I’ve learned about how Google, Yelp, and the AI assistants now treat reviews, what families actually respond to, and the new threats that didn’t exist when I first recorded this.

Let’s get into it.

First, Take a Breath

How did it feel the first time you saw a negative review? You were probably mad. Maybe really mad. That’s normal – when you’ve poured your heart into serving a family, and someone takes a shot at you publicly, it stings.

Here’s the thing I want you to internalize before we go any further: never respond to a negative review the same day you see it. Sleep on it. Show it to someone you trust. Then come back to it with a clear head. Almost every “I shouldn’t have hit send” response in our industry has been written within an hour of reading the review.

The good news is that most negative reviews aren’t even legitimate complaints. There’s some jerk out there, sometimes a competitor, sometimes a family member who wasn’t even at the service, sometimes – and this is new – a bot or a fake profile from a review extortion scheme. We’ll cover all of those.

What hasn’t changed: the strategies I’m about to share will put you in the driver’s seat, both for handling negative reviews when they happen and for preventing them from doing real damage in the first place.

Step 1: Is the Complaint Legitimate?

Same question I asked back in 2013, same starting point in 2026.

If the complaint is legitimate, you’ve got work to do at the office. What happened? Was someone having a bad day? Was it a process oversight? If it was a process issue, put a system in place – an SOP, a checklist, a checkpoint – so it doesn’t happen again. Reviews like this are actually a gift, even though they don’t feel like one. They’re telling you exactly where your operation has a leak.

Once you’ve investigated, reach out to the family directly. Phone is still better than email for this – it humanizes you and it lets you actually hear what happened. Say something like: “Thank you for letting me know. We’ve taken these specific steps to make sure this doesn’t happen again. Is there anything else we could do to make this right for you?”

Then – and this part is important – go back to the review and respond publicly. Not defensively, not making excuses. Just acknowledge the conversation: “Thank you for taking the time to speak with me yesterday. I appreciate you helping us understand what went wrong, and we’ve taken the following steps so this won’t happen again.”

Everyone reading that review – and there will be many – sees that you took it seriously, owned it, and acted. That response often does more for your reputation than the negative review hurts it.

Step 2: The Olive Branch Approach (Still Works)

What if the complaint isn’t legitimate? What if it’s a competitor, a disgruntled extended family member, or just some jerk?

You still respond. And you still treat it as if it were a legitimate complaint.

Here’s why: people will read the negative review, but they will also read your response. If your response is calm, professional, and clearly trying to solve the problem, you come out looking like the adult in the room. The reviewer, by contrast, looks unhinged.

In your response, ask a couple of probing questions: “We take this very seriously and would like to understand what happened. Could you share when the service took place, or who we had the honor of serving, so we can look into this and make it right? Please feel free to call me directly at [number].”

Two things will probably happen.

First, they likely won’t respond. It’s hard to keep being angry at someone who’s being kind and reasonable in public. If they do respond and escalate, you respond once more, just as politely, and then you stop. Publicly arguing with a reviewer never makes you look better – it just gives the review more visibility and more fuel.

Second, after about a week of no response, you have a path to flag the review for removal. We’ll cover that next.

I’ve called this the Olive Branch Approach since the original article, and it still works in 2026 because human nature hasn’t changed.

Step 3: Getting Reviews Removed (What’s Different in 2026)

The mechanics of getting a review removed have evolved meaningfully.

Google. Google now allows you to flag reviews directly from your Google Business Profile dashboard. The most common categories that succeed: off-topic, spam, conflict of interest (a competitor), harassment, hate speech, or content that violates Google’s policies (which now explicitly cover misinformation and content from people who weren’t actual customers). Google’s policy also now allows funeral homes to flag reviews that disclose private health or family information about a deceased person without consent – that’s a newer and very useful angle for our profession.

Yelp. Still tough, but their automated filter has gotten better at catching obvious fakes. The “Not Recommended” filter often hides reviews from accounts with no other activity, which works in your favor more often than not.

Facebook (now Meta). Facebook removed star-rating reviews and replaced them with “Recommendations” several years ago. Most consumers ignore them, and frankly, I no longer recommend spending much energy here unless your community is unusually active on Facebook.

The new threat: review extortion. Both times I helped get reviews removed back in the day, it was straightforward. In 2026, we’re seeing organized review extortion – someone posts a 1-star review with no detail, then privately messages the funeral home offering to remove it for a fee, or threatens more reviews from other accounts. Never pay these people. Document the contact, screenshot everything, and report it to Google as extortion. Google takes this seriously now and will often remove the entire reviewer’s account.

The AI factor. This one is brand new since the original article. AI assistants like ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini, and Grok are increasingly the first place families go when researching funeral homes. These tools pull heavily from Google reviews when answering “best funeral home in [town]” type questions. That means a single unanswered negative review can now influence not just Google search results but also AI recommendations. Responding professionally to every review – including the negative ones – gives the AI more positive signal to work with.

Step 4: Cultivate Reviews Proactively (This Is Where the Real Win Is)

Here’s the truth I’ve been preaching for over a decade: the best defence against negative reviews is a steady stream of positive ones. If a jerk wants to leave you a 1-star review and your profile shows 80 four- and five-star reviews from real families, that one bad review looks ridiculous. Maybe even gets ignored entirely.

This is where most of the strategy has evolved since 2013. Let me walk you through how I’d build a review cultivation program today.

Start with your shoebox of thank-you cards. I know you have one. Go back through the last 12 months. For every family you served well – and that’s most of them – that thank-you card is your invitation to ask for a public review. Type out their kind words for them, send them a short note, and ask if they’d share those same words on Google.

Skip the Gmail screening step. This was useful advice in 2013 when most people didn’t have Google accounts. In 2026, virtually everyone has one – through their Android phone, YouTube, Gmail, or Google Maps. Don’t gatekeep the ask based on email provider anymore.

Compliance heads-up: don’t review-gate. This is critical and didn’t exist as a concern in 2013. Google and the FTC have both cracked down hard on “ask only happy customers to post publicly.” That’s called review gating and it’s against Google’s terms. The modern best practice: ask every family who completed a survey or sent a card, but personalize the ask more strongly when their feedback was positive. If a family had concerns, address them privately first and still invite them to share their experience honestly.

Text beats email now. This is the biggest channel shift since the original article. Open rates on email have collapsed, while texting – even with older demographics – gets read within minutes. If your CRM lets you text from the director’s actual line, use that. Most modern funeral home platforms – Funeral Clients CRM, Tribute, Passare, Osiris, Halcyon, and others – have texting built in.

Add a 30-second personal video. This is the technique I covered in detail in my recent article “Advanced Technique: How to Get More Online Reviews With Your Cell Phone in Under 5 Minutes.” Short version: a brief, personalized video from the director who served the family, sent via text alongside the review link, dramatically outperforms text-only asks. Read that article for the scripts and the full play.

Print QR codes on your aftercare materials. A QR code that goes straight to your Google review form, printed on the back of your thank-you cards or aftercare folders, removes nearly all the friction. One scan, one tap, done.

Encourage authentic words. Tell families to share their experience in their own words rather than copying pre-written text verbatim. Google is actively detecting and filtering AI-generated and templated reviews, and you don’t want a batch of your reviews disappearing because they all sound suspiciously similar.

Step 5: Your Aftercare Specialist Is Your Secret Weapon

Everything I said about aftercare in 2013 still stands – only more so. If you have an aftercare program, your aftercare specialist is in the perfect position to ask for reviews because they’re with families when emotions are positive, when the service is fresh, and when the bond with your firm is at its peak.

The play hasn’t changed: when a family expresses how grateful they are during an aftercare appointment, that’s the moment. Don’t ask in the first two minutes – let the conversation breathe. About halfway in, when the compliments come naturally, that’s your cue:

“That means so much to hear. If you’d ever consider sharing that as a Google review, it would help other families find us when they need someone. I can text you the link right now so it’s just one tap whenever you have a moment.”

Then text them the link before they leave. While they’re still feeling it. While the door is open.

The 2013 warning still applies in 2026: don’t have families log in and post the review from your office computer. Google’s algorithms are even more sophisticated about IP addresses now, and a cluster of reviews from a single IP gets flagged or filtered. Have them post from their own phone, on their own connection, in their own words.

The Three-Part Framework, Refreshed

Same three steps as 2013, with 2026 nuances:

1. Investigate. Is the complaint legitimate? If yes, fix the underlying issue and respond publicly. If no, still respond – professionally and kindly.
2. Respond with the Olive Branch. Always take the high road. Millions of people are watching how you handle this – including the AI assistants now indexing your responses for their own recommendations. You have more control if you respond than if you stay silent.
3. Cultivate proactively. Texts and short videos from your director, paired with QR codes on aftercare materials and a strong aftercare program, will generate more positive reviews than you can dilute with the occasional bad one.

Your Challenge

Same challenge I gave in 2013 – because if you’ve never done it, now’s the time.

Go back through the last six months. Pick one family you served well and know reasonably well. Ask them – by text, ideally with a short personal video – if they’d be willing to leave a Google review.

Drop a comment below or send me a note at robin@funeralfuturist.com letting me know how it went. If you get the review, send me the link – I’d love to see it.

Your reputation in 2026 is built one authentic review at a time, with one calm, professional response to the occasional jerk in between. The funeral homes that take this seriously are the ones the AI assistants will recommend, the ones that rank in Google’s local pack, and the ones that families call first.

That’s the goal. More families served, more meaningful services delivered.

…Rob

Robin Heppell, CFSP
FuneralFuturist.com